Written by: Dr. Michael Mulick, DO
A person is not made complete by another person. A person can be comfortable and feel good whether single or in a relationship. As with all relationships, it requires doing your own personal work and making yourself as healthy as you can. Reading books like “how to be an adult in relationships” by David Richo can be extremely helpful. If you never work on yourself after a breakup you are likely to continue to have the same problems.
1. Be comfortable being single
Use the time after a breakup to grow. Often it’s during that painful time after a breakup when we do our own work. And if we do that personal work and grow, it’s easy to recognize when right person comes along. And that other person recognizes you as someone they really want to be with.
2. Know what you want and then go for it.
It might take a while but it’s worth thinking carefully about who the perfect person is. Make a list and don’t be afraid to really add up all the wonderful qualities. It’s ok, you deserve it. Once you know who you want to be with, you may need to meet a lot of people. Try not to settle when you are not truly happy. It took me until age 35 to find my wife and we are so happy we waited to find each other.
3. Be yourself.
If a person truly loves you, it’s best that they love you for just being you. Be yourself at the beginning of the relationship and there won’t be any surprises or disappointment later on. My wife is my best friend. I can’t imagine a better outcome than to be married to your best friend.
What do you think? Is there anything you think is important for finding the perfect match?